Why I Own the Word Whore

(WARNING: Lots of swear words in this post, so if that's not your thing, then pass this one on by.)

Let's face it, names we call others or ourselves are only words that we've put our own meaning to.  Words that are accepted as a certain meaning by an entire society are still the same thing.  We make up meanings to sounds we make with our mouths, and then we project those sounds every time we want to express a certain thought or a feeling.

And sometimes, those sounds (which we call words, and in turn call "names") have negative connotations added to them, which are used to shame or humiliate other people.  And for some of us, we are labeled as these horrible names because it makes other people feel better to put us down.

And my label growing up was: Whore.

So, I decided to steal back that fucking word and make it my own.  And then I can change the meaning to whatever I damn well please. 

Nowadays, while nobody really calls me that anymore,  I do go by many incarnations of it in the universe: The Bookwhore (on instagram), The Cooking Whore (on my cooking blog), the bacon whore (in daily life), etc. etc.

I am just a plain old whore.

As a teen, my father is the one who started it.  He was the first to bestow that title to me.  He also gave me other adorable names: leach, bitch, "shut the fuck up", etc, etc.   (And as you may have guessed, he was an abusive alcoholic.)

But it wasn't only his lovely pet name for me.   Everyone called me a whore.  All my friends.  My family.  Even my own mother (the last time was after I told her I was raped out of my virginity at the age of 14--and I finally told her about this 4 years ago, to which she told all her neighbors about what a whore I was).  And probably all my parents' friends, as well (I mean, if your friends told you their daughter was a whore, you're probably believe it).

All because I was a teenage girl who had boyfriends whom I had sex with.

Because women who have sex = being a whore.

How cute.

I love the fact that my sexuality as a female has always been a priority so much in other people's lives that they had nothing better to talk about.  I wonder if they also talk about how many craps I take a day or how many jobs I've had or how many times I drink a soda?  Because if they are counting all of those, too?

Then this whore has a lot of explaining to do!

And it doesn't stop there.  When I was in my first marriage to an abusive narcissist, how much I wasn't having sex was also a HUGE topic of discussion amongst the in-laws and their extended family.  Because, discussing your sex with your parents is so totally normal, right?  It was such a hot topic that my ex-father-in-law (now deceased) once approached my mother in a parking lot and told her "I don't think it's right your daughter refuses to have sex with my son!"

Good god, I am still scratching my head at that one!

So, when I had sex, I was a whore.

And when I didn't, I was somehow broken.

You sure can't win for losing in this world as a woman.

I was called a whore more times in my life than I can count.  But instead of letting it shame me, I am owning that fucking name.

I am a total fucking whore for the things I love to indulge myself in!

I am a whore for books.  For soda.  For bacon.  For cooking and recipes.  For knowledge.  For music.  For yarn.  For art supplies.  For my army of dogs.  For Netflix.  For peace.  For love.  For justice.  For healing.  I will give up myself willingly, over and over again to these things, as much as they need to me give.  If these things ask?  I will come running.  I am proud to whore myself out to things I love.  To slut it up at any given time, place, or for whomever asks.

Be proud to be a whore.  Give yourself over to those things you really truly love and don't look back.  And if that thing is sex?  THEN FUCKING DO IT.  Just be safe about it.  The same thing can be said for being a whore for soda and bacon: be safe about it.  If being a whore means that I get to enjoy something I love doing?  Then I am proud to be one.

Because, our bodies mean our choices.  Whether that choice is to have sex, not have sex, dance in a strip club, eat anything we choose, get tattoos, get piercings, use our eyes to read the books we like, use our ears to listen to the music we like, or anything else for that matter.  If we do what other people consider "too much" of those things (or other things) then we get labeled.  But guess what?  They don't get to tell us what we can or cannot do with our bodies, minds, or souls.  That's OUR business, nobody else's. (for real, what is the exact number of times you need to have sex in order to be considered for whoredom?  can anyone answer me that?)

So be a whore with me.  Take that name and make into your own.  And fuck those assholes out there who think they are shaming us with that word.  Because we will OWN IT.  You can't call us something that we call ourselves and think we will be hurt by it.  That's the definition of utter stupidity.

So keep on calling me a whore and I will keep on being one.  Because that's who I am, and I am proud of that fucking title!

Like, instead of being a queen or a duchess, I want to be a Whore.  Like it's a honor to be bestowed that name after years and years of giving yourself selflessly to the things you love.  Like  "Now introducing Whore Emma of Bacon" or whatever it is that I am getting this most prestigious honor for.  There will be a ceremony and everything.  And I will get a damn crown.  And a party.  A BIG party.  A banquet even!  "We'll be serving chutney and bacon at the banquet, please RSVP by next week" the invites will say.  And you're invited.  So save the date!

And we can be whores together.  In fact, only whores are allowed to come to my royal banquet.  So if you're not one, then you can just watch it on TV with the rest of the world.  Oh, and bring a gift (or send one if you're stuck at home not being a whore).  Like, some bacon or a book or something.  Whatever.  If you bring bacon, cook it first please.  Don't want to open any rotten meat or anything.  Yuck.

On second thought, just buy a book.  I like books.  And they don't rot.  Which is a huge plus in my book.

So yeah, if you want your own Whore Crown, let me know, and I'll craft you one!  I'll send it out asap before the ceremony so you can wear it there 😁 

Can't wait to dance with you!  It will be a magical night full of awesome whores like you and me!! 


 While you're waiting for your invitation, check out who'll be performing:

PS-I googled "whore crown" thinking I'd find a crown with the word "whore" on it...um no.  Don't do it.  It's not pretty.  I need to go wash my eyes out with soap now.



Now, what word are YOU going to own??